I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
