You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
