I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
