I'm really into asian looking animals
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
