we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
