Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
