I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
