yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
