Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
