We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He? As in you personified your dick?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
