I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
