May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize