He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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