so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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