New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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