So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize