Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
