Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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