I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
