He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
