During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
foreskin is a definite game changer
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just want nice things and good sex
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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