he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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