you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I smell like Dick and happiness
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize