non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize