All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
