And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
