how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
