I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
