Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Blood and glitter go together right?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
