hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
After last night, I could never be a politician.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
