Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize