Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
