Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
