Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
