My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
