6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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