if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
