they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
