I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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