The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
it hurts more in the daytime
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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