who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
