Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
