The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
