They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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