Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
