Fuck appropriateness.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
