are you still at the devil's house?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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