I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
