I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
