you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
