Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
