Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
