your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I AM VODKA MAN
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
