just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
