yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
