Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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