Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
