I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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