Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
