Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
