She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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