Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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