Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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