I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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