Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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