I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize