i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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