You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
