i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
