you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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