Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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