i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
