real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
