just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
