I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
