I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize