***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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