I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
