He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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